Sexting

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Sexting is intimate communication through messages, photos or videos that is intended to maintain emotional and sexual intimacy between people, especially in romantic or sexual relationships. The practice of sext can range from light flirting and innuendo to explicit descriptions, photos, and even role-playing.

Why do people engage in sexting?

Sexting serves several functions in a relationship; mainly, it helps keep things interesting and maintain passion, which is especially helpful for those in long-term relationships or temporarily long-distance. It allows partners to explore their sexual preferences, and to express desires and fantasies without resorting to actual contact, which is important for those who are not yet ready to take their relationship to the next level.

For many people, intimate texting also serves as a way to boost their self-esteem; when a partner shows admiration and arousal in response to messages, it helps them feel desirable and attractive, which in turn builds self-confidence. Finally, sexting can be a way to take your mind off the everyday and create new excitement and intrigue in the relationship.

How do you start sext?

It's best to start with light phrases that hint at flirting but don't go too far. For example, you can send a compliment or an interesting joke that will add playfulness and lift the mood. If the partner responds positively, you can gradually move on to more explicit topics, but always focus on their reaction. This way, sexting becomes a natural extension of the conversation, rather than something imposed.

Forms of sexting and their peculiarities

Intimate texting can take many forms, each with its own unique aspects:

1. Text messaging. This is the easiest and safest format where you can describe your desires, fantasies, and build plots. Texts allow you to slowly “warm up” your partner's interest.
2. Photos. Photos often become more explicit as intimate texting progresses. For safe sexting, it is recommended that you avoid photos from which you can easily recognize the person.
3. Video. Video helps add an element of reality and depth, conveying voice, intonation and emotion. Clearly this format requires more trust.
4. Voice messages. Voice adds extra emotional coloring, especially when gentle or playful intonations are used.
5. Emoji. This is a playful way to add a touch of flirtatiousness and fun to sexting without going to direct texts.

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Sexting as a tool to overcome shyness

For many people, sext becomes a way to overcome shyness and the fear of being rejected; since writing explicit messages can be less intimidating than discussing these topics face-to-face, which helps people feel more free and confident. This is especially helpful for those who have difficulty expressing their feelings and desires.

Gradually, through intimate texting, a person can learn to talk about their desires and even experience the pleasure of having frank conversations, which will have a positive effect on their love life as well. When people begin to communicate more freely through sext, it can affect their confidence in other areas of life as well, making them more liberated and open-minded.

Examples of sexting

If you have discussed the ground rules and are feeling confident, you can try the following approaches for sexting.

• Share a fantasy about what you would like to experience together.
• Hint how often you think about your partner and how much you like them
• Describe what you plan to do the next time you meet.
• Talk about the body parts you like best.
• Come up with a fun or intriguing scenario for role play.

Here are some more intimate texting ideas you can use:

• Remind yourself of a past experience you'd like to relive again.
• Say how you can't wait to get together or are “looking forward to tonight”.
• Write down what was particularly memorable about the last time you were together.
• Ask what particularly turns your partner on.
• Send a seductive photo to keep things interesting.

Security and privacy

Privacy is one of the main aspects to keep in mind when sexting; therefore, using secure messengers with encryption features, such as WhatsApp or Signal, can be a good solution for sharing intimate messages and photos. It's also a good idea to choose platforms where messages are deleted after a certain amount of time, such as Snapchat, although again it's important to remember that the recipient can keep a screenshot.

When sending a photo, it's best to avoid recognizable details such as your face, unique tattoos, or other distinguishing features. This will minimize the risk of your images ending up in the possession of third parties. It's also a good idea to store such photos in secure apps or delete them after sending them.

Sexting risks for teens: cyberbullying

Teens can face the same risks of intimate texting as adults, but the consequences for them are often more severe. When intimate images or videos are leaked, it can lead to cyberbullying, where another teenager uses the internet and technology to humiliate or bully a peer. An abuser may use the disclosed explicit material to pressure and intimidate:

• Acting as if they are you.
• Stalks through private messages, text chats, and social media.
• Publishes photos, videos, or personal information on public platforms and blogs.
• Registers you on porn sites or subscribes you to inappropriate mailing lists.

Emotional and psychological risks

Sext can cause negative emotions if partners lack understanding or trust; for example, one partner may feel vulnerable sending explicit photos, especially if it is a new experience for them. If the other partner is not supportive and respectful of their boundaries, this can cause feelings of shame or frustration. Therefore, it is important to discuss the emotions that arise during sexting and be honest about how you feel.

Some people may use sex as a means of manipulation or pressure, especially if they know that it is difficult for a partner to say no; which can cause negative consequences and make sex a source of stress. To avoid this, it is important to develop an honest and trusting relationship where each partner can openly say “no” without fear of judgment.

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