Dirty Talk

Dirty talk: what is it and why is it necessary?

Dirty talk is when partners use frank, sometimes even obscene language to create sexual tension and increase arousal. They can be part of foreplay or occur right during intimacy, adding spice to intimate moments; therefore, this practice is a great way to diversify your relationship and make sex more varied. 

Talking dirty is a great practice in itself, especially if you're just starting to master this skill. One of the easiest ways to overcome shyness and learn to speak relaxed is to try practicing in front of a mirror; this will help you better understand what words and intonations you like, learn to feel more confident and express your desires more freely.

Just as masturbation helps you get to know your body better and become a more attentive partner, practicing dirty talk develops your ability to verbally express your desires. If you have trouble finding the words to say exactly what you like, it's worth starting with simple phrases, exploring new expressions and figuring out which ones really turn you on. There are a huge number of options in the world of sensual talk, and only practice will help you find what works for you.

How to talk sensually and add passion to the relationship

If you have never tried to have a dirty conversation in bed before, but you want to try, the main thing is to approach it casually and take into account your partner's reaction. To make things go naturally, it's best to first discuss the topic in a quiet environment, such as during a walk or light conversation before bed. Try saying something like, “I think it would be interesting for us to add a little spice to our conversations. How do you feel about that?” This approach gives your partner a chance to calmly express his or her opinion without pressure.

It is worth starting with a light flirtation, not immediately with obscene phrases; you can add a little playfulness to the correspondence or say something with a hint, watching the reaction. If the partner supports the tone of the conversation, smiles or responds in the same spirit, you can try to move on. If, however, they are embarrassed or don't support the topic, it's important not to push or insist.

When both feel comfortable, you can gradually add bolder phrases. The main thing is to make it sound natural and not look strained. If in the process the partner does not like something, it is better to stop and discuss his preferences, so as not to create awkward situations.

How to move smoothly into explicit conversations

To make frank conversations natural and comfortable, start by discussing what you'd like to try in the future. You can share a fantasy that seems particularly exciting, or suggest an idea that you think would make the moment more passionate; from then on, if you want to be more direct, you can ask your partner what they like to hear in these moments or what words turn them on the most.

Another way to make the conversation easy and casual is to try a couples game that has tasks or questions that encourage explicit phrases. This is a great option if you want to remove awkwardness and gradually get used to such communication.

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Examples of dirty phrases that you can try

If you're just starting to try your hand at candid conversations, start with phrases that sound sensual but not too harsh. For example, you could say:

• “I love it when you touch me like this.”

• “You make me feel incredible.”

• “It drives me crazy when you use your tongue like that.”

Another option is to hint at your desires, but leave room for fantasy. You could try something like:

• “I can't wait until you're right next to me.”

• “The way you kiss me drives me crazy.”

• “I imagine your fingers sliding down my body.”

Choose the words that are right for you

Once you've gotten a little more comfortable with frank conversations, it's time to make them feel more comfortable and natural. One way to do this, is to identify which words and phrases make you feel good, and which ones sound unnatural or even repulsive.

Create your personalized list - it can include words and phrases that you like, turn you on, or help you better express your desires. It's especially important to understand what terms you find most appropriate to describe your own and your partner's body. Some people are more comfortable using soft and hints, while others prefer direct and bold phrases.

This list will help you feel more confident, avoid awkwardness, and make frank conversations a natural and fun part of your relationship.

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Compliments

Dirty talk is not only frank words, but also an opportunity to emphasize the attractiveness of your partner. You can compliment looks, clothes, actions or reactions. For example:

• “Your strong arms drive me crazy.”

• “I can't take my eyes off your body, you look incredible.”

Try different wording to see which words excite you the most and fit your communication dynamic.

Memories

Discussing pleasant moments from the past is a great way to get the conversation going. You can recall a moment you both enjoyed and express a desire to repeat it.

• "Remember when we couldn't contain ourselves in the shower? I want to feel that again."

• “I still remember when you whispered it in my ear... I want to hear it again.”

Describe not only the action but also the emotion(s) you felt to enhance the effect.

Role-playing

If you want to add an element of play and fantasy, you can try role-playing scenarios. They make conversations more interesting and help you uncover new facets of desire.

• “I've behaved too badly and deserve to be punished.”

• “What can I do to earn your reward, Chief?”

Why dirty talk is necessary

Dirty talk is a way to turn your partner on with words, let them know you like them, and make intimacy more open. It helps to openly express desires, suggest what feels good to you, and show that you're interested in what's going on.

Besides arousal, such conversations help you understand each other better. You can tell your partner exactly what you like or ask what words turn him on. This simplifies communication and makes the process more clear and natural.