Demisexual

What does it mean to be demisexual?

Demisexuality is when a person experiences sexual attraction only after a strong emotional bond has been formed with a partner. In this sense, mere liking or external attraction is not enough - trust, intimacy and deep feelings are important .

But even if there is a connection, it does not guarantee that there will be sexual attractionñ it may or may not arise - it all depends on the specific relationship and emotions. The main thing in demisexuality is the priority of emotional connection over physical desire.

How to understand demisexuality?

1. Emotions are more important than looks

For a demisexual, sexual attraction doesn't just happen - they need a deep emotional connection. It can be a strong friendship or romantic attachment, but without emotion, desire simply won't appear.

2. Demisexuals can be of any orientation

Demisexuality is not about who a person feels attracted to, but how and when it occurs. Demisexuals can be hetero, homo, bi, etc., but in any case they need to feel close to a person first.

3. It is sometimes difficult to feel “like everyone else”

In society, it is often considered the norm to feel attracted at first sight, and demisexuals just don't feel this way. This can make them feel “ different ”, but in reality it is just a distinctive way of feeling attracted - not through looks, but through intimacy.

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Why do we need the label “demisexual”?

For many people who identify as demisexual, the term helps them understand themselves and feel that they are not alone.

Many people have felt different from their peers since childhood because they did not experience a rapid sexual drive or interest in sex in the same way as others around them. This can cause confusion and doubt, and it can feel like “something is wrong”.

Having a clear term helps you realize your particularity and find a community of people who feel the same way. It is not just a label, but a way to understand yourself and stop feeling like an outsider.

What is important to know about demisexuals?

Demisexuals can have a difficult time in a world where speed dating, flirting and instant attraction are considered the norm. This is because they need time to feel interested in a person, so they may feel uncomfortable or confused if others don't understand their approach to relationships.

On the other hand, their sexual relationships are often deeper and more meaningful because they are based on genuine emotional intimacy. It's not just physical attraction that matters to them, but a genuine connection with their partner, which makes their relationships especially strong.

How do you realize you're demisexual?

• You are not sexually interested in people until you get to know them better.
• You develop attraction to someone gradually, not all at once.
• You're not interested in casual sex and unemotional relationships - you're interested in feelings.
• You prefer to build trust first, and then think about the romantic or sexual side of the relationship.

How do you support a demisexual loved one?

The best thing you can do is to accept them as they are, if they want to share their thoughts, listen to them; if they need privacy, don't push them. The main thing is to make them feel comfortable around you.

Another important point is not to tell others about their orientation without their consent. This is a personal matter, and only they decide to whom and when to talk about it. Just be there for them, respect their boundaries, and they will know they can rely on you.

Debunking the myths about demisexuality

Demisexuality is often misunderstood and there are a lot of stereotypes going around. Let's break down what's true and what's a myth.

Myth 1: Demisexuals simply have a low sex drive

No, the libido level of demisexuals varies. Some have sex often, others less often - it all depends on personal preference, not on demisexuality itself. The main difference is that the attraction appears only after an emotional connection, but this does not mean that it is weak.

Myth 2: All demisexuals are LGBTQ+

No, demisexuals can be hetero, bi, homo or whatever. Demisexuality is not about orientation, it's about how and when sexual attraction occurs.

Myth 3: Demisexuals need to be in love to experience attraction

Optional. A deep connection is important to a demisexual, but it's not always romantic love; it can be friendship, strong trust, or just a close emotional understanding.

Where to find support for demisexuals?

In recent years, demisexuality has become more recognized, and many people who used to feel “different” have found support in online communities and LGBTQ+ spaces. It's now easier to talk about it, and more people realize that this type of attraction is normal.

It's important to remember: demisexuality is not queer, it's just another way to experience attraction; so it deserves the same respect and acceptance as any other orientation. You can find like-minded people and support in thematic groups, forums and social networks, where people share their experiences and find understanding.

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What does the demisexual flag mean?

The demisexual flag consists of four colors, and each color carries a different meaning.

• The black triangle (left) is a symbol of asexuality, as demisexuality is linked to the asexual spectrum.
• Gray (horizontal bar) - reflects the transitional state between sexuality and asexuality, as demisexuals experience attraction only when there is an emotional connection.
• White - symbolizes sexuality, the opposite of asexuality.
• Purple - signifies unity and belonging to the LGBTQ+ community and people with different orientations.

Who is a biromantic demisexual?

A bi-romantic demisexual is a person who may be romantically attracted to people of different genders, but only becomes sexually attracted after forming a deep emotional bond.

How it works:

• Biromanticism means that a person can fall in love with two or more genders, but this does not mean that the liking for everyone's the same. For example, someone may be attracted to both men and women at the same time, but with different intensities.
• Demisexuality - despite the ability to experience romantic interest in different people, sexual attraction only occurs when there is an emotional connection.

Simply put, a bi-romantic demisexual can fall in love with people of different genders, but in order for sexual attraction to occur, they need deep trust and a strong emotional connection.